The Monkey Mind

There is nothing wrong with me. It's just that the righteous feeling I have cultivated since childhood has stayed with me until this day. So, each time I encounter you, or more precisely, a version of you in another person, I hesitate. I cannot break free from the usual loop of thinking about you, searching for you, and for so long imagining myself being with you. Beyond that, there is nothing but the authority of time, which strips away all my feelings, and once again, I am back. Back to my comfort zone where all emotions fade. I am no longer myself, and you are no longer yourself. I remain in the void, and everything that once was is no more. There is nothing to discuss. Endless hours and days just slip away. Here I am, in the middle of my physical age, and the question has arisen once again. So, I dictate, my thoughts fragmented, my sentences half-formed, incoherent in a way that feels disconnected. I am disconnected from the conversation that surrounds me. I rarely think about ...

Boredom. Pain. Hunger. Loneliness. Insomnia.  These are the things we experience on our own, it is personal. With those five, we will truly know the truth of things as they are. The truth is, we are almost always alone when we experience them and so are the loved ones of ours, with whom we cannot be always there holding their hands, offering a pair of welcoming ears, or a dependable shoulder. When they are suffering, all alone, low and hurting inside, so much, they can only endure in silence. Though we don't want or allow our loved ones to go through those same experiences, the cycle repeats itself. The baptism of boredom, pain, hunger, loneliness, and insomnia, it is how each of us grows, it is how we mature, mentally, socially, and spiritually.  All of us are imperfect and being imperfect, we do make mistakes. It is easier to forgive ourselves, but difficult to forgive others. Yet post-baptism of the aforementioned experience teaches us to empathize, to understand the meanin...