To be or not to be...
It is natural to be attracted to the opposite sex. That is what we call "crush" And when we go further it becomes "relationship"
A feeling of connection and companionship exists. The relationship is the beginning of a serious aspect of life that either pulls someone to madness or pushes them to the top.
Going further or be back to safety it is unto the seeker.
When love comes knocking, it feels like the whole world is with you or against you. Your so-called love takes all the mental space and does away all the physical needs; hunger, thirst, sleep, and the very reason why you are alive, willing to live.
That is the heart talking if the heart could so speak.
But, if we take a moment. Reflect all our feelings in the cold rationale. It is untrue, the world does not care. The one whom you have feelings for may never look at you.
Until you confess. Confess with all the courage you could muster.
Imagine, you are the girl. How would you feel when someone suddenly comes up to you and confesses, in three words, "I love you."
Indeed! What an unexpected surprise. Even if you are her friend, it is like the dice rolling. You will never know which side it will fall. And whether she loves you back
Love is like that. Its definition changes with the person. But the destination is the same, it is to be.
If it is to be, what does the other side sees in you? Is it not the looks and money? If it is not so, then it must be the true feelings. Is it not your potential as someone who makes her feel like none have made her feel; special. Is it not the feeling of comfort and safety that love should invoke? But rarely do such feelings stay the same and love fades with years gone, akin to a flower left unattended.
That is if crush comes to relationship and then to marriage. It is so true in the western world and is so happening in our eastern world too. It is because people decide to confess and accept love out of the goodness of heart, not with cool heads. That's the reason why divorce exists within a couple of years. That's why the child born out of their so-called love faces the consequences.
If it is to be just loved for the sake of love, then perhaps there is a "bright" side too. Romanticized in novels and movies, we dream of love and try to be those "stars". Perhaps unconsciously. But such love exists to sell themselves, not to be lived. They lead you like a lamb with an adrenaline rush, flashy but quick gratification. And it ends unlike it promises, down than when it all began.
If you are seriously considering love, then it is best to be prepared. Best to face the dark sides!!
Like everything else, a relationship needs work. It should be an effort from both sides to work. One has to be water when the other is fire. One needs to be as calm as the ocean with a heart as deep as its depth when the other is as fiery as the volcano that melts everything on its path. That is what love means to be, through thick and thin, through the storm and calm waves. That is what it truly means to be
Some of us get lucky who never know 'others' romantic love. Even if we do, we never understand for what we see in it is, we see the madness. The effort and the energy, the show of affection. It feels too much. We embrace not to be. Not to be responsible for someone when we are not responsible for ourselves. As much as we should be. We fear getting hurt and in return hurt someone. There is much we cannot give when someone else can give so easily. It is not our cup of tea to ask for much when we are reluctant to give. When we don't know-how, it feels kind of stupid, a fantasy!
Perhaps those people who decide not to be in a relationship, see the tickling of time and eventual demise of the could be. Perhaps the fear of losing someone even before confessing is always there. Fear is thereby like a shadow that haunts those people.
Perhaps it is not fear. It is the resolution to understand the self. Who am I? How can I be a better person? How can I change myself before giving priority to love and relationship? Such a person abhors the superficiality of the world, the cheapening of sacred love as s/he defines it as such.
And some embrace both: They embrace to be in relationship with self-i.e. self-love. It is selfish and it is not. Selfish for it is the love of 'ego" and it is not for it is unconditional. We know ourselves best and every day it is a new day to re-discover ourselves, without the tinting glass of judgment in-between. And it is wonderful. We try not to be in a relationship for the sake of it. We believe it is as natural as breathing, waking up, doing daily chores, and sleeping, it is living in each of us regardless of the identity given. That is the beauty of self-love.
Perhaps we are capable of love. But we are also easily corruptible by the feel-good image. We may have spent too much of our time on unhealthy expectations. Perhaps, it is the reason why we enter into a relationship, make it toxic by being too clingy or too attached. Or just be stupid to get waylaid with others when we promise our heart to someone else.
Or perhaps, we may find someone. Fall in love. Discover the part of us in each other, be true to one another, and live happily EVER-after.
So to be or not to be, it is indeed a mystery
It is a Pandora Box for those who are just opening up to the world and even for those who are veterans in the subject of heart. For it is the beginning and the end. Created out of love and dying to be with the one who can breathe no more. There are many stories written as we live our niche of lives. And they reach towards to be when not to be beaten with the rhythm of heart, hear, hear...
"To be or not to be...indeed that is a question!!!"
Photo credit:
https://www.deviantart.com/cielociel/art/Celty-Sturluson-To-be-or-not-to-be-289108482
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/403775922827418921/
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