Xonfession-I

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                (PC: Devian Art)

A city unlike any other, vibrant with thousands of visitors, the air fragrant with the smell of their perfumes from all around the world. Each street I could identify with familiarity from just the faint aroma of its uniqueness, be it coffee, pastries, or any delicacies as I pass by

Building from the late renaissance, carved with such visualization, as if they arise from their slumber as the first ray of the sun gently graces on the surface

Streets still paved with the same rough texture as when horse cantered once with the jubilance of youth

Drizzle now and then as the May flowers come alive with soft velvetiness feeling of drizzle in the morn

Ah! those bright days...

A city of hope...

once, it was, for me

A city of despair, now, it became, to me

Beauty mocking my presence, the air frigid with hostility

And, there I was...

With a debt filled identity, with dust-filled-pockets and an empty belly, I walked with a sense of familiar lethargy

A heavy heart, weakening body and numb mind, I, fleeing, when my name was whispered, called, jeered, I could only rush on, knowing I could not tarry

Leaving behind my pursers in the crowds of old commuters and new visitors

till my steps reached where justice was served, finally. 

There, I pleaded for help with all my being, for at least shelter for some days, a respite from my creditors, friends turned stranger; debtors, at least a sanctuary, so I hoped at the very least

Yet...

I was thrown out, my desperate plea ignored, knowing I could do nothing, I got nothing... 

so I cursed, banged the selfish door, 

until the banging became weaker,

and weaker...

Downcast, heavy heartened, slowly, I could only walk away, farther...

Till... 

unconscious body guided my feet towards the same  bridge from where I entered the city with fresh eyes of naïve, entranced by its ethereal presence, my new home

Like cold water poured in my body, I shuddered.

No more...

All the way, in my mind, there was one single question, why? why me? why I am abandoned by you my lady luck? Why I could not find innate kindness my mother said each humane had within themselves.

Deeply disturbed, I walked to the center of that ole bridge, then its edge, placing my back to the emptiness behind, there ready to end this pathetic life mine, forever...

Climbing over, knowing I could not do it if I even took a peek down

I opened my arms, looked at the blue sky for the last time, where clouds were drifting, as a sudden gust caressed my back,

I closed my eyes embracing the darkness as if I am going for a nap, yes just a nap,

knowing, it was time for the end

I whispered, "Je Suis prêt..." (I am ready)

                                                                                                (PC:drawingsandnotes.blogspot.com/)

11/28/2020