The Quest of Love

 

Intro

One of my respected instructors informed me of an attitude in which normal everyday events may be perceived as quests. Be it simply an ordinary occasion or a thrilling one, through perceiving it as a quest, we see the world we constantly traverse through, for at the least once, differently, recognize its salient functions and be self-inspired to place plans into action. for example; waking up early, finish off the to-do lists, ta-da! a stealthy kiss good-bye to an irritated partner prior to hurrying to work, etc., etc.

Quest; simply means the search for something which is meaningful, but quite tough for the present 'me' or 'us' to achieve. Yet this limitation only exists in our mind. With discipline, followed by consistent willpower, and herculean effort, that supposed difficulty can be chipped away if not in an hour or days or even weeks, then years if it is necessary to do so. "Improvise, Adapt and Overcome" With this in the mind, we put efforts into our every action, each struggle, then the body automatically follows the lead of a purposeful mind towards the final goal achievement, imbued in greatness, and self-fulfillment, where the sky is the only limit...

Talking about Love

Love. When vocalized aloud, it has such intensity in its utterance, (when the tongue slides at the roof of the mouth bordering the top incisors, the lower-back of the throat flexes its muscle) and the incontrovertible voice among the thoughts congregate, with the beat of the heart, shimmers a snug feeling that phrases can by no means articulate, possibly not ever will, nudging in the gut, gossamer butterflies as inexplicably veritable and breathtaking as the infinite stars above in the ether during the night.

The puzzle of love is only puzzling to those who close themselves up, surrounded by veneers of brittle panoply, never revealing the un-guarded side of themselves, never confronting the hurt. the denial while extending your hands out for fellowship, never knowing each and every bruise, every denial, every sealed door is worth it, for we embrace something all-important, the sincerity of truth, that is to love someone, first, we need to love ourselves. When we attempt to self-love, we discover countless faults we had missed within ourselves, we take in the facts that explicitly present our pre-disposed thoughts and actions which are idiotic at times and are near barbaric without the principle of "modus vivendi". Steadily as we warm up to ourselves, we take a step back to revise the conditions to love and a step forward to trust others and recognize part of other's faults, and treat others with the unvaried generosity we allow to ourselves. Not taking anything for granted, we permit them the risk to wreck us, by doing so, conceivably we mature, we start to look forward with hope, we relish life, we attempt to love and become inviolable enough to master ourselves against the vicissitudes of life, never to be crushed. 

The Quest of Love

A baby is delivered, bawling out to the world, declaring the advent of a new creation. S/he finds solace in the warm embrace of the doting mother, the phenomenal touch soothes all the fear of the world from the newborn. It is the mother's love which we spontaneously experience and unconsciously long for, without the conscious comprehension, that love which is unstinting. Such love is rarest in the world, for it is honestly arduous to love other than our own selves, and only one in thousands finds a mother, not of their bloodline, who loves them back with the same overflowing endearment as the true one. Whereas father's love is the love of remaining half to mother's love which complements her love, he is the superhero to the little one, the indestructible badass in the world. Jointly, they nourish us, clean us, amuse us, and are with us at the dawn of the day and by the night tucking us in with enthralling fairy tales. That is the foremost love, the love of parents, who proffer without demanding back, always lavish in their endearment, always magnanimous to our fallacies

As we grow old,  we've siblings and if not, friends; be human or otherwise. We as humans look for social circles which are comparable to ourselves, to keep enriching our lives with an awareness of united identification that brings a cause this is larger than ourselves as an individual. And even loners discover something positive to love, a person they have affection for or have a crush on. But such is the nature of things, with time, the crush for a person is forgotten within the teenage memories, collecting dust within the intellectual closet of mind. Even something deeper than affection stays as simply an impression, difficult to recollect for the conscious. Eventually, we become part of the greater humanity, after finishing school, we depart from our mother and father to begin an existence of our own. With college, part-time jobs, dates, graduates, and numerous jobs, we marry, have kids of our own. We discover distinctive forms of love aside from the love for our spouse, we rediscover love inside ourselves in the shape of our little cuddly child, who grows up to emerging as a gentleman or a lady to go away from our sides and begin a life of their own, we lose that love or even if the spark of affection stays, it by no means remains the same. And with time, death does us apart...

Romanticism 

Humanity pursues beauty in everything and in each form. The artistic mind is a cornucopia of emotions. Each sensation through the perception discovers beauty be it natural or artificial or both, for they awaken the sleeping mind and bring ideas into life. And thereby, dreamers and poets composed sagas and odes in honor of someone resplendent with the glory of heroism and as a tribute to those rescued damsels in distress who entertain the ordinary and test the genius stimulating the interest with such vivid imaginations.

When we discuss love from their perspective, love is, quote, “ an intense attraction that involves the idealization of the other, within an erotic context, with the expectation of enduring for some time into the near future.”

Quote: Love is blind and without any delibrate or sensible reason, people fall in love with complete strangers whom they have never known or met before. As such, a human is an incomplete being, thereby throughout his/her life, they look for someone who can complement them. When they realize their 'other' half then they are now whole again and, this is love. It is also the reason why people are committed to their partner despite losing the thing they value most in their partner (looks, money, etc.). 

Romantics rationale further, "love is a biological necessity, to pass genes from one generation to the next. So thereby, love is innate to everyone for it is inherent in each one of us. Each and every one of us is capable of love and hope within our heart a relation that is beyond the physical and psychological boundary of color, race, or even sex.  We can fall in love with the handsome Romeo a fictional character of Shakespeare's play or are charmed by the seduction of Cleopatra of Ancient Egypt. Therefore, love is beyond the limitation of the human mind, the time-space continuum, or even an entire universe. 

Realism

 Romantics create appealing ideas that oblige us to feel good inside which is undeniably why we expect perfection from our partners. But, let's come down to this lonely blue planet, let's be more astute, love is not perfect nor are our partners, and never us. Only in our highly inventive fantasy can a lover truly and mechanically understand his/her better half. Love is not something that is prefabricated in a factory to be uniformly perfect, it is a spontaneous feeling one has for another, as natural as breathing or sleeping

Love is not about unearthing a soul mate wherein only the final death does us apart. Love is not permanence, it is a trust, given and received freely, thereafter, it is a responsibility, we solemnly swear to uphold, one when broken, there is only a direction the relationship goes toward, downhill. Subsequently, nothing patches the broken heart, only time will, perhaps not even that, but that is another tale.

According to the School of Life, an educational youtube channel, love is a classroom wherein two human beings support each other to be, the better version of themselves. A good lover is a good educator and a good disciple. Lovers educate and assimilate from each other. Nobody can without fail love someone for who they are but what they can do is to love, to make the best of each other, to change the one you love to transcending them into their best version. As adults, every human being has a developed mind that uses clear and precise language to communicate. It is thereby common sense to tell the true feeling when a partner enquires. As per the school of life, when partners are romantic, they pretend everything is alright though it is not right, so they sulk and feel miserable when their partner cannot understand what they feel inside. Let's not forget, loved ones are not gods, they are also humans, they cannot comprehend until and unless they are told straightforwardly

If we accept, reaching the fleshly ecstasy of sex is love, then we are mistaken. Like food, sleep, or any other requirements, we do have sexual desires and it is by nature, natural to fulfill them, but accepting that finally experiencing sex, is love is a misconstruction, an err one should not make. Sex is just a slice of love that spices the relationship, the truth behind love is to be co-dependent, to let your partner rant on about her depression rather than express your triumph in the work. It is imbued with companionship, compassion, attention, and simply a willing shoulder to carry her tired figure to the warm bed. 

Conclusion

Love is something we cannot live deprived of. Our very existence and its continuation are due to the manifestation of love. It is much more than the physical intimacy between two, it is the emotional bond that defines us, our humanity, our identity, and most honestly the part of us which we have always yearned for, a sense of belongingness that is as irreplaceable as life is to the living. 

It is love that ushers happiness in frugality and peace in extravagance. The joy of living basks in love, for love is not suffering, it is nirvana, physical attachment is suffering, as Lord Buddha once said, 

"When you take a shine to a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you always water it daily. One who understands this truth understands life."

 

Reference:

https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Romanticism 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/finding-new-home/202002/what-is-romantic-love#:~:text=It's%20important%20to%20distinguish%3A%20romantic,four%20ways%20of%20looking%20at