Xonfessions -III: The Purgatory

No Tomorrow.

Promise solemn rang true to my ears..., without accompanying sound, with the heaviness of its solemnity reverberating from body to soul and soul to the body, as along trembled simultaneous, the heart's temerity, I felt... the unwilling liberation of the soul and unbinding of bodily chains, like never before, as the spirit wavered, in-between the light and dark; the purgatory ...

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Yet that liberation demanded a price, so did the unbinding, yet unready I to pay, unready I to yield, 

I tried, how I tried, but temptation overtook my conscience, I failed, I gave in, so I did; pay and yield

for a moment of liberation, a second of unbinding, the shame of ecstasy; material desires offered...

I grabbed it; like a beast and so I fell, like one, as well

The Price: the price which I paid, was more than I had imagined, for I lost forever, that which was closest to the self that I called my own.

My own, losing, unraveled; as the swirling smoke of ashes below which memories burned to nothingness

Lost, all gone like dreams that never came true, truths turned into lies and lies just as unreal as the life of before, all which is forgotten, when "The End" intruded to crush the self.  

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Self: an identity a country, a unity of common so represents, that exists no more

Self: association defined by your friends, family, and dearest, may their soul rest in peace,

Self: purpose in life that guides, to love and be loved, the joy in the familiar comfort of shared living, in the comfort of a space you call "home", no more, none...

 To lose that self,

It is the agony beyond the pain

The void no things greater can fill within, as the body healthy wanders without, akin to the "dust scattered in the wind", 

I can only scream and scream,

inside; broken, shattered, unmade, scream reverberates within yet only silence listens without, and nobody cares

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Except for the memory that empathizes, a familiar face blurring, as softly she whispers:

No Tomorrow

With all my willpower, I added: Not again. 

As darkness claimed me...