So Long...

Either way, there's never enough time to do all the things we want."

Life is too short to avoid taking risks 

                        (- Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead)                       

 

Fear

We can do more, be more. If we just dare, to do so…

How many things did you dream of doing before the grand finale?

A thousand, a hundred, or not even a ten?

Promises are broken, and wishes forgotten along with the memories of regret… 

It is so easy, to let them go.

And easier, to procrastinate!


 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            (PC: pngtree.com)

Duality.

The past and the future.

Summation of either distant memories or crossroads of possibility.

We live in the past carrying the weight of our identities, race, gender, and the very idea of who we uniquely are.

We are enslaved to a future, the myriad pathways of desires and wants, realized into one, not of our own

Succumbed to these two, these dualities, we fear, irrationally within the reality of our thoughts

Thoughts colored by the depths of dark witnessed by the light of our awareness

 

So we are, not of present, but the fullness of past and the emptiness of future…

We are not, we stay as we were and perhaps will be…

 

Weighted by the suffering of failures and uncertainties, fear grows unhindered in our mind, like the dark heaviness enveloping the warm sun called hope, (is it not lonely gliding there surrounded by heavenly bodies unlike itself?)

Success diminished into minuscule insignificance, counted in the fingers of a hand, that is how fear is awakened, and it is how it controls, dominates, and enslaves us. It is how the world leverages itself in our insecurities to condition us, to break us, to make us in its image…

We become less, when we can be so much more…

 

Easier it is to forget oneself, imprison one’s potential one is borne with or has the ability to earn along the way. The easiest it is to dive headlong in the velvety cradle of samsara, the bliss of ignorance where instant pleasure is all that matters and will continue to do so.

Better it seems to continue living this cycle, where we are in a loop of routine, for it is certain, for it is predictable



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And what is certain and predictable is the state we have recognized to be without fear, without nightmare-filled sleepless nights and the echoes of déjà vu during the day telling us to accept our limitations

To have certainty and predictability means there is no risk

The mere hint of losing that part of yourself, to be lost in the exploration of one’s potential along with all the life one had built and is living,,,  just gone

Will you not fear that?

Does not result justify the process?

So, it rules, Fear. i.e.

 

Try chess, the game of strategy, and the domain of mind:

“Willingly given control, fear creates a fog of clouded judgment, decisions so pathetically predictable, every one of our moves is countered, and our queen murdered in cold blood and lo behold checkmate, in each game, in every move. As pawns to our instinct governed by fear we lose. Not to our opponent who is as human as us, but to fear that is stronger than logic.”

 

Fear

Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of self.

Conformity opens doors. Anonymity questions competence. Fear instills obedience.

That is how the world is. The façade of civility under the grim laws of survival.

A man can dream but tantalized by the boundary of fear, there is suffering despite fulfilment

This suffering is superimposed and thus fear is the one in control




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But if it is us, our own self that chooses to suffer, to survive beyond the tentacles of fear. We are gifted with the ability to understand and be understood. We are blessed by the legacy of yesterday and navigate our way to the destiny we were meant to have. Yes, as the duality can be our salvation

Suffering is inevitable, more so when we fear and so is this journey called life is an emotional roller-coaster, with its highs and lows, with brief moments of respite leading us to ourselves, from who we were to are, then will be…

In the imperfection of being, that fear is the beginning and the end itself, like how life is, the depth of breath, the journey of self, realizing, understanding, and finding meaning in our suffering, i.e. both personal and subjective.

It can be more than just an innate instinct geared towards survival.

It can be more than the greed for a carefree life, free from just the loop of pleasure, pain, and boredom.

 It can be more than a worldly liability, a collateral the world takes from us. It can be the blessing we give back to the world, not freely but on equal grounds, an exchange of sorts.

 

Fear may hold us back but when we understand our fears, we understand ourselves better, and we are more humane to ourselves and others. We respect fear but never be thrall to it, we fear to fear, not to fear but to accept it as a part of our being, like any other emotions like love, hope, hate, or despair

It might comfort us by limiting our potential within the soothing embrace of habits, but it can also propel us to break the cycle that we have chained ourselves into

We are our own warden and our own prisoners who keep us imprisoned or rescue us from the hellhole of our making

 In its comfort, we are bound by our insecurities. And perhaps therein fear is our own greatest enemy.

Perhaps we are doomed to be irrelevant, and we may care more than we should. Thus, we surely suffer.

Perhaps through that experience, we reach a point where we don’t want to explore. To reach out to the fear, embrace it, and make it part of us.

Perhaps we might fear the freedom which we can impart to ourselves.

Perhaps we fear to take rein in our own destiny.



(pc: sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com)

 

It is in that irrelevance, the suffering between pleasure and pain, heaven and hell, in that purgatory called life, that we descend into the memories and ascend to the light, go beyond what we thought possible

Like a butterfly, into ashes,

one burns to embrace the light, a moment.

A moment my dear, stretched into eternity, that moment

“As I traverse through the woods, the four seasons passed me by, unassuming, uncaring, and unbothered by my mere presence… then I came to realize, they represented life...

… Then I moved on. Unassuming. Uncaring & Unbothered”

 There is so much more in less and so much less in more.”

So long…

 

 

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