Summer Introspection//Beyond the Monkey Mind

Even the ordinary is fascinating when curiosity sparks the inferno of the pursuit from the newborn Monkey Mind, undampened by succeeding challenges more challenging than the first.

It is not the answer that fascinates the enquiring mind, it lies in the question.

The question leading to more questions...

The more we ask, the more we realize, "Ignorance never is a bliss"

Being ignorant is not an excuse, never was, is, or will be

Realizing which, we search for answers but are confronted by more questions

we realize caressing the surface of any issue is never going to work

so we delve deeper and deeper

to the excruciating detail

and it is truly engrossing, the feeling that one feels when one thinks

In the silence of oneself, we meditate, searching for a pattern, refuting the discrepancy in logic, 

and then,

we forget, to eat, drink, sleep, talk, love, 

and when reaching the farthest limit, 

we forget even ourselves.

Pleasure reading has always been one of the greatest delights of my life

But as I am passing the threshold where reality is omnipresent, this has shackled my wandering mind down from the realm of imagination; infinite, to this finite yet true physical reality of which, I cannot deny the existence...

And talking about the existence,

I may have read hundreds of novels, witness the birth of a protagonist with the agonizing childbirth by the mother, and the up's and down's of his/her journey until s/he reaches the pinnacle of his/her time or falls into the abyss of loneliness, stopping at his/her elegy written on his/her tombstone, that lonely moment, parting with the final goodbye, I lost a part of myself...

As such, I had fallen in love, known the heartbreaks, the joy of the embrace of a lover, the romance never realized in reality, I thought knew it all, then.

But now, I find myself, lost

Reality is harsher than that which was written with the combination of 26 letters.

When my hands stretched out with the genuine heartfelt affection, there, I found nothing but, but empty air. Perhaps, my intention were far too romantic knowing only heart of the things, not the head that sees beyond. And I realized, If I were to survive, I need to bury my heart, let it sleep like "The Sleeping Beauty" alone in the comfort of her snug coffin, in the silence of the seluded woods.

So I started thinking, letting the mind do the rest,

And I found;

Unlike, the flow of moments I had read or felt in those combinations of the 26 letters, the life which I am living to, or trying to, is chaotic,  

I see desires manifested in the more subtle images of the artificial displays

the narcistisism in each walk of life

false wisdoms to comfort the gullible

how could we have trusted each other, when we share lives such, that are not of our own

"where I see the beauty in  simplicity, perhaps you see the naviety of a dreamer"

Conflicts, I see it everyday, on the road where two-wheelers compete with the pedestrians, where the four-wheelers think they are the kings of the road, and cyclist such as me, who need to commute with two eyes behind and two ahead. Traveling through the narrow streets, braving numerous junctions, I realize life is similar. Some walk with nothing but clothes on their back, some like me pedal themselves from home to work, to and fro, some pushing cartloads of fruits, and things they themselves will never consume, some speeding like there is no tomorrow and few who travel with a roof on their heads wherever they go, safe from dust, sun or rain

I more than once found myself abrupting stopping on the side of roads when people walk without looking at both sides, I realized ordinary people are so absorbed by their own petty things and themselves, they never have time to understand the danger they are in unless, it comes in person. Then they curse others, who are as innocent as themselves. After that, I realized why travelling matters so much, for we without intending to are put into situation where we cannot remain detached. 

And some apologies with such courtesy when they touch you with their vehicle, you feel like apologizing back though the mistake is not yours. Other times, we travel in haste without caring for the traffic light and find ourselves near-death experience and so is life, we grasp on opportunities so quickly without realizing its consequence, the troubles find you, testing our resolve, our passion that leads to the stage where we are 

Living through which is a challenge and yet we grow, our perspective becoming bigger than before,

 we realize,  we are living life on our own terms and if death embraces us, then the decision is our own

Unlike life in literature, life, in reality, is richer and thereby challenging. The concept of living is not same, as subjective is both our expectations and reality which we perceive despite having the same point of event experienced by a number of us. The life of the protagonist is dictated by the will of the author but the life we do so live may be indirectly influenced by the environment we live in and the expectation we have inherited from our parents, our friends and our inner passion itself.

No excuses! No holding back! We have one life to live before we leave.

Beyond the comfort zone, there may be dangers, challenges...

But it is more than a fictional world build with the combination of 26 letters

It is more than the perfect fairy tale of prince charming and his white horse coming for the rescue of the fragile damsel

We will find unrequited love, blunt refusals, and unexpected confessions, 

there are depressing moments when we feel low, 

and rare moments of peace with the comfort with our own selves

There is life, to be lived, to the the very fullest,

 for it is like heartbeats, with up's and downs 

boring long hours, waiting rooms, strucked within an elevator full of strangers who know each other, except only you, 

no one will  live it for you

You have to live it on your own

for better or worse

That's the question I found, finally...

I wonder what might be yours...